


Cats vs. Dogs

by MsOzma



Series: HSWC 2014 Fills [10]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, animalstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 02:00:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1801273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsOzma/pseuds/MsOzma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can't believe your scratching post invited that...<em>thing</em> in here.  Doesn't he realize who's boss around here?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cats vs. Dogs

**Author's Note:**

> Cute fill I did for BR3! Based on this prompt:
> 
> "Jade<3<Nepeta Animalstuck AU where Jade is literally a dog and Nepeta is literally a cat."

How could he have done this to you?  
  
Just... _how_?  
  
"I apologize," your muscular scratching post says to the green boy with the weird glasses. "Nepeta is usually much more playful and sociable."  
  
He's wearing his strange black eye cover things, but you can sense instinctively the look of frustration directed toward you, as well as smell the body odor permeating from his sweat. In your much more superior mind, however, there's no reason for him to get so angry at you unprovoked. You would have been more than  _happy_  to rub up against this boy's legs and demand pets and attention. It's kind of your  _thing_ , honestly.  
  
That was before his stupid mutt decided to run inside  _your_  house and run you up the entertainment center--essentially cornering you.  
  
"Ah!" the green scratching post says. "It's no problem at all! Though I'm awfully sorry Jade straight ran in here unprovoked! It's hard to keep her calm, considering she's just a pup."  
  
The boy sits upright on the sofa in the living room and gives a stern look to the dog now sitting peacefully at his feet ( _that could have been **you**!_ ), but the mutt doesn't react to her...could he be a scratching post? What do dogs even  _do_  to their humans,  _pee_  on them?  
  
"I understand, Jake," your human responds, taking a seat in the recliner/inanimate scratching post in the corner of the room. "When Nepeta was a kitten, she would always scratch me. Actually...she still does, unfortunately."  
  
He gives a frown of disapproval in your direction, and you just have to smile sweetly at him. That's right.  _He_  knows who's boss around here. And no matter how many unwelcome intruders decide to come into your house, you can sleep peacefully knowing that no matter what happens at least  _he_ is still your human/scratching post, and no green boy or dog or  _anything_  could ever--  
  
"Jade,  _don't_!" the green boy yells at the drool monster running below his feet.  
  
And wouldn't you know, she runs straight at your scratching post, jumping and resting her paws on his lap. You have to laugh at how feeble and tacky her attempt at attention is. She doesn't even try to hide in a corner and jump at him from the shadows and  _oh my God is he **petting**  her!?_  
  
  
"Good grief," the boy says in defeat at his mutt's behavior. "I'm so sorry, Equius..."  
  
"It is quite alright," your human responds, and oh my God he's  _smiling_. "She is not a bother, and a good dog."  
  
That mutt just has her tongue hanging out all over and is breathing heavily and  _probably_  getting slobber all over what is  _your_  property, and he's just smiling like an idiot at such an act of domestic terrorism. Doesn't he understand that he is  _yours_!?  
  
The green human calls the mutt over, and after a few times she  _finally_  gets off of  _your_  human, and walks to her fire hydrant. In spite of the terrible offense she just made, she doesn't look at you at all.  
  
 _Good._  It'll make your next course of action that much easier to plan. Because whether that woof beast realizes it or not,  _you two are officially at **war**._


End file.
